I can has grammar?

From an AP article entitled "Breakthrough in striking writers talks" (italics are mine)...

"The two sides breached the gap Friday on the thorniest issues, those concerning compensation for projects distributed via the Internet, said the person, who requested anonymity because he were not authorized to speak publicly."

Can we get the real writers back now, please?

seasonal side effects may include...

So I've been listening to Christmas music, courtesy of those digital cable music channels (the ones up in the 900s). I was entertaining Liam by singing along, and I caught myself singing "... a beautiful sight, we're happy tonight, walkin' 'round in women's underwear." Of course, what made it worse was that I couldn't remember the actual lyrics for a moment.

I may have listened to too much Dr. Demento in my formative years, as I'm also compelled to sing "Ding! Fries are done" to Carol of the Bells.

best typo ever

Spotted in a MySpace profile listing of favorite movies: "Top Hun."

What makes it even better is that a) it's the first movie listed; b) it's someone I know; and c) the Hun jokes are endless.

In the 5th century, a confederation of Eurasian tribes established an elite school for the top one percent of their members. Its purpose was to teach the lost art of combat and to insure that the handful of men who graduated were the best fighters in the world. They succeeded. Today, the historians call it the Hunnic Empire. The fighters call it: TOP HUN.

my blue hell

Attention homeowners (and renters with nice landlords):

Do NOT. I repeat: do NOT paint your walls dark blue.

Sure, it may SEEM like a good idea. But it's not. Trust me.

When we bought our house, one of the bedrooms looked like this:
What's the big deal, you ask? That's wood paneling on the walls. Not the crappy 1970s wood paneling, but the older paneling that has deeper, irregular grooves. And, no, it was sanded or primed before the blue monstrosity was applied. Heck, they even left staples and pieces of double-sided tape on the walls. Some of the painter masking tape didn't make it down, because it blended in with the wall color -- that's the blue we're talking about here. Did I mention there's one window in the room, and it faces north?

This past weekend, we started priming it. It took three hours for mostly Pat with some Jen assistance to get one coat on. Here are the results:

You can still see the blue. Argh.

We'll be slopping one more coat of Killz on and then painting it a nice, light tan. And never painting it again.

with a little bit of time and elbow grease...

Our house is looking pretty good these days.

Here's a picture of our house taken on May 8th of last year.
And here's one taken May 10th of this year.

Last summer's power-wash, last fall's bulb-planting (how can you have tulip shutters and no tulips in the garden?), and not hacking the azaleas to shit has made a huge difference.

"So, what are we doing today, Zuul?"

Okay, I've been neglecting the blog. I know.

I wasn't going to post about this, but I figured since I posted about my UFO sighting, I might as well put this one out there as well. Trouble is, I didn't have any co-witnesses this time.

Last month, I was sitting in the second-to-last row in the smaller of the two theaters at work. It was the middle of a board meeting, so there were about 40 or so other people there watching the board chair talk onstage. Probably about 6:15 or so in the evening. I'm paying attention to the meeting proceedings, when out of the corner of my eye I see a ball of light, probably about 16 inches in diameter come out of the corner of the false ceiling of the set (suspended from the light grid above). I shift my attention to watch as it meanders towards the back of the room. Then it disappears into the wall behind me, about eight feet to my right and six feet over my head. All in all, it took about six seconds from the time I saw it appear to the time it disappeared.

I looked around to see if anyone else noticed; no one did. At least not as far as I could tell.

There have been a number of stories about paranormal goings-on at the theater, though our official stance is that we do not have a ghost (or ghosts). The building's old; it was built in 1917, so there's plenty of history.

What I saw was not a dustball. It was not a moth. It wasn't glare. It was not a floater in my eye. It wasn't a side effect from cold medication (I wasn't on any). And I'm pretty sure it wasn't ball lightning. It was a ball of light, that went on a curvy path through the wall. I've never seen anything like it. It was completely bizarre and completely fascinating at the same time.

Yes, I'm interested in paranormal stuff, but I've never experienced anything of the paranormal persuasion before. And I certainly wasn't looking for something in the middle of my meeting.

So there's that. My first ghost story.

good morning... I'm heeeere

Behold: the Wake n' Bacon. "An alarm clock that wakes you up with the smell and sizzle of cooking bacon."

I'm not sure that this would succeed in getting me out of bed, but it sounds like an excellent idea.

Mmm... pig fat.