what about leaving my plant in the middle of the floor seemed like a good idea?

That was a nice little set-up you created for your personal-phone-call station in my office. Putting my aloe plant on the floor. Moving my stapler and tape dispenser onto a pile of files. Moving my brain coral and business card holder to the other end of my desk. Turning my phone around so it faced the cushy chair. I'm sure it all made your calling station quite cozy.

Nevermind that you moved my plants out of the sunlight. Or lost the little sprout from my succulent cactus-thing that I was trying to revive in a small terracotta pot. My desk is here to make life convenient for you.

I'm sure you couldn't have made those calls from home -- why run up your own bill? Or one of the two dozen phones on this floor that isn't behind a locked door. I mean, you certainly needed privacy when no one else was working here.
...

So I came in this morning and my desk had been carelessly rearranged by some a-hole who was using my phone this weekend. I called the operations manager to ask him to talk to the cleaning contractor about not moving things around on my desk (we've had this discussion before, when I found phone call notes written on some paper that I had a few important things jotted on).

Stopping short of directly accusing me of profiling, he complained that "the maintenance people are always the first to be blamed." So I asked him who else has a key to my office. The answer? Me, my supervisor, and the cleaning people.

Hmmm... since my supervisor has his own phone in his own office and typically doesn't work on the weekends or in other people's spaces, I doubt that he moved my stuff. And I was out of town this weekend, so if I do have any alternate personalities, it wasn't them.

Whoever could it be?

I wouldn't mind so much if they didn't leave evidence. But, come ON, people. Try to be a little respectful.

The operations manager offered to change the lock on my office. I told him that I didn't think that would be necessary. One would think that a conversation with the contracted company would solve the problem. But why go the free route, when you can spend money to avoid conflict?

I'm awfully tempted to leave threatening notes on my phone. Like "I have bronchitis." Or "My cold sores are oozing this week." Maybe I'll dust it with baby powder.

Think they'd take the hint? Me neither.