so you have to fall back on superior intelligence and superior firepower...

Several years ago I had the joyful experience of actually making the gas company go into its recorded phone converations database to find the exact moment that the customer service representative told me that I did not, in fact, have to be home to let the service technician in to turn on my gas service. They had hit me with a $50 fine for not being home when the guy showed up, and I called them out on it. "Go check your records, I asked specifically if I had to be home and the woman told me I didn't have to be there." They found it and apologized. Score one for the Jen. (Of course, I still had to take a day off from work to be there for the four-hour window to wait the guy to come "turn on" my gas.)

Moving into our new house, we've had more fun experiences with the gas company. The day we were moving in, back in April, we had meter readers (yes, two of them) show up to read the meter in our basement. They did their thing, and we got an estimated gas bill anyway.

A month later we got a postcard in the mail, asking us to call in our reading. I tried calling it in that night and the automated system wouldn't accept it -- some excuse about the timing of our billing cycle. So I called again the following day, and I got a guy in room full of background noise that clearly wasn't the usual gas company phone room. He took my reading, and said we were all set.

We got another estimated bill and another postcard requesting we phone in a reading. I phoned in the reading with no problem.

Then last week, we got a letter from the gas company, saying that they MUST have access to our meter to do a reading and to call for an appointment. Appointment? Oh no you didn't. Sorry, I'm at work on weekdays. You know, so I can PAY my bills?

So I called the number provided and talked to the service rep. I explained that we were entirely confused by the signficant interest in physically reading our meter. She said that by law the gas company must actually read the gas meter at least twice a year. Okay, but why are you trying to do it every three weeks with us? We're not felons. We don't use obscene amounts of gas. In fact, the only gas-powered thing in our house is the hot water. Our heat is oil.

She said they like to try to get in every other month. Ugh. So we're being punished because I'm sure the previous owner wasn't letting them in from October of last year (when he put the house on the market) on. Okay, fine.

Anyway, I make an appointment for a FOUR-HOUR window of time this Saturday morning (between 8am and noon).

Then, this week, we received:
- a phone call from the independent meter reading contractor telling us to call them for an appointment;
- a bill based on our phoned-in reading for a three-week period;
- a bill based on estimated usage for a four-week period (that overlaps with the three-week period and is for a higher amount).

So Pat calls the gas company last night after hours and got our account balance, which was the balance due based on the estimated usuage (not the phoned-in reading). He called again today to talk to a live person, and they told him that we should pay the higher amount and ignore the bill that was based on our phoned-in (a.k.a. ACTUAL) usage.

And my favorite part of this whole thing? We have to be up and presentable starting at 8am tomorrow morning. Maybe they'll call before they show up, maybe not. They're the gas company. That's what they do. Fuckers.