the sound of one bus stopping

With the gas-price increase following the last hurricane, we've had a lot more people on the bus lately. I guess this is a good thing, but damn, they take up space!

Anyway, I've been noticing for awhile the jockeying for position that takes place each morning as we're all waiting for the bus to show up. Since there are more people on the bus, there are fewer seats from which to choose. This has only aggravated the situation.

Sadly, this is America, so there's no polite queuing. Alas, there's a rather amorphous crowd of 15-20 people that forms on the (for lack of a better word) paved platform. Amorphous, that is, to the untrained eye.

The first few people who arrive on the platform give each other plenty of elbow room. No one stands less than 7-8 feet apart. Most will stand at least 4-5 feet back from the curb. These bus pioneers are typically young men and hardy women. They're not afraid to be outside the climate-controlled comfort of their Nissans.

As it gets closer to bus-arrival time, the pioneers are joined by the middle-aged crowd. A few men in cheap suits arrive. Several women in ill-fitting pants or skirts of the odd-floral-pattern persuasion and large totes come next. Students with water bottles and headphones appear.

The middle-aged women start competing for space on the curbside. They give sidelong glances at each other, while trying to triangulate the exact location of where the bus doors will open alongside the group. Surreptitiously, wielding their bags as shields, they work their way through the small crowd to gain the perfect position.

As the bus pulls into the park and ride, their little minds are at work, trying to determine whether their gamble will pay off. The bus finally stops and opens its doors.

No manners among our group. Someone trying to get off the bus at our stop? Too bad. You're about to be plowed.

The first group to squeeze in -- the most ruthless -- are the women who dye their hair. Occasionally you'll get a male student or young professional sneaking in. But the women won't let that happen more than once.

Next up: the overweight women. Usually they have more purses, totebags, shopping bags, bag bags than anyone else. They take awhile to find and show their bus passes.

After that it's a mish-mash of women who don't dye their hair, young people, and the guys in cheap suits. (Typically the guys in cheap suits will attempt to position themselves behind one of the female students for maximum butt viewing opportunities.) This is usually where I fit in.

Bringing up the rear are the bus veterans. They're the guys who've been riding for years and don't care where they sit or even if they sit. They let everyone else sort themselves out. They know they'll be on the bus, and that's enough for them.

They've achieved a higher level of bus consciousness.

Whoosh.